Attention All Schools – Illustrated

Screen Shot 2018-04-09 at 9.45.01 PM.png

Happy first day of testing! This year I’m a hall proctor, so I don’t know if I’ll even have time to write more. We’ll see…

For now, here’s the first testing poem I wrote, with illustration by Anna Fox Ryan.

Order the book at

Test Time = Poetry Time

It’s early April, which means two things: National Poetry Month, and also that PSSA testing starts tomorrow.

To “commemorate” this, and to promote my book of anti-testing poetry, I’m going to be sharing one illustrated poem per day of testing. There might be some other fun content thrown in too. So get ready tomorrow!

And remember to order your copy at

Testing Season Approaches

It’s almost that time again. In fall, the trees shed their leaves. In winter, the clouds shed their white fluff. And in spring, the classroom walls shed their color and character because students must have a sterile environment for testing.

You know what chases the doldrums away? A nice book.

Now available to order through Square! Tested Out: Poetry Against High-Stakes Testing and Standardized Children.

Follow that link to order your copies just in time for them to be confiscated by the proctors.


A few months ago, we raised over $2,000 to make a book of poetry against standardized testing. You hit stretch goal after stretch goal, expanding the book to 20 poems (I even threw in an extra as a bonus) and adding full-color illustrations from the amazing Anna Fox Ryan.

And now it’s almost ready.

Some of Anna's amazing artwork!

If you didn’t get a chance to order your copy, now is your chance! I’m running pre-sales to make sure everybody who wants a copy can have theirs in time for the holidays.

Please help spread the word!

You can pre-order by clicking this link. The e-book is $7.99, the print version is $20. Discounts for purchases of 3.

And just as a bonus, here are the titles of the poems in the collection:

A Dedication
Attention All Schools
What Is Tested
Thank Goodness I Spent Weeks Studying Multiple Choice Strategies in Third Grade
Multiple Choice
Beat the System
The Truth
Marvin K. Parker
Inspirational Slogans
An Observation
Olympic Testing
The Dragon Slayer
UltraTest Mark 9
Silly School
Severe Case of Test-itis
Testing Instructions
The Pledge

Can’t wait to share the finished product with everyone!!!


[Blog] Summer Break!

Hi friends,

(Missed my successful Kickstarter for a collection of anti-testing poetry? Check it out here!)

It’s now summer — I’m officially done with school and on my way to the mountains for a couple months. I’ve got a lot of work to do on finishing the book — and another HUGE thanks to everyone who really came through to support the project — and I want to make sure my focus is entirely on that project. So, I will not be doing regular updates this summer.

I’ll probably throw in some posts and poems, as well as a link for people who didn’t support the Kickstarter but still want to pre-order a copy. But those probably won’t follow a particular schedule. For now, have a great summer, and thanks again to everyone!


P.S. Here’s my summer vacation poem from last year: Summer Vacation

My Best Friend Is My Cell Phone

My best friend is my cell phone
My tablet is my teacher
Mom’s fine I suppose
But without those
How could I even reach her?

I’m in love with my laptop
And also my TV set
I’m saving part
Inside my heart
For things I don’t own yet

I’m waiting for a smart watch
And smart socks and smart hair
And yes, it’s true
I really do
Wish for smart underwear

I just need more technology
So I don’t go insane
It’d be boring
If the only thing
Smart about me was my brain


[Blog] Two days left!!!

We’re so close to the finish line! For those new to the project, I’m running a Kickstarter ( to make a book of poetry against standardized testing. The deadline is Monday at midnight — if you want to contribute, you have two days!

So far, we have:

-Fully funded the book! It’s going to happen!
-Added artwork by Anna Fox on every page!
-Increased the book size from 16 to 20 poems!
-Done a live poetry read! (skip the first minute)
-Done a full-day request-a-thon!

We have about 48 hours left! If we can raise $468 more in that time, we’ll have full-color artwork throughout the book! Anna is an amazing artist and just put out a powerful statement of support for the project, which I hope you will check out!

If you’ve enjoyed my poetry and want to support me, or want to make a statement against standardized testing, I hope you’ll consider supporting the Kickstarter! It’s only $6 for an e-book, and the more I raise the better I’ll be able to make your ultimate product. Support it here: