Also During Testing… (poems about unicorns, gremlins, and turkeys)

While doing my “active monitoring” of this week’s standardized tests, I wasn’t only scribbling passive-aggressive poems about testing. Before the tests began, I let the kids make requests, which I then tried to write and share with them afterwards. Here are a few of the requests.

Request: Pink unicorns

What It’s Like Being a Unicorn

What’s it like being a unicorn?
Pro: You have this awesome horn
Con: It’s heavier than you think
Pro: Your hair is soft and pink
Pro: You make wishes come true
Con: No one believes in you
Con: They think you don’t exist
Oh yeah? Then how’d I write this list???

(Child responds: “Dude, that’s so lit!”)

Request: Gremlins on a farm (kids are weird)

On the Farm

A is for animals here on this farm
B is for bunnies and also for barn
C is for chickens and D is for dogs
E is for eggs, and then F is for fox
G is for gremlins who fill me with hate
H was for hens, which the gremlins all ate
I is for irrigate — help your plants grow!
J is for jerks, ’cause those gremlins won’t go
K is for kale, L is for lima beans
M’s for the mama goat they painted green
N is for nuisances — that is the truth!
Oh…wait, excuse me — they’re back on my roof

(Child responds: “Boom!”)

Request: Moon turkeys (Yes…moon turkeys)

The Truth about the Moon Landing

The astronauts are at last admitting
Something they’d been keeping hidden
That’s right: There’s turkeys on the moon
That’s why we won’t go back there soon

They’re super-smart and unforgiving
They’ve heard of our so-called “Thanksgiving”
If we set foot on their lunar dust
They’ve warned: they’ll gobble gobble us

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