Little Red Rhyming Hood

(I always teach a unit on literary adaptation, and I usually use Little Red Riding Hood as a central story that we then read many versions of. I just realized that it was about time I made my own contribution to the canon. I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out.)

Little Red Rhyming Hood walked through the woods
To bring her sick grandma a basket of goods
Her mother had told her to keep clear of strangers
And Little Red Rhyming Hood answered her, “Danger”

Then along came a wolf who said, “Oh, my poor dear
What’s a sweet girl like you doing somewhere like here?
And where are you headed to? Somewhere that’s near?”
But Little Red Rhyming Hood shook and said, “Fear”

“Oh my! Don’t be scared!” replied the vicious beast
“I swear I don’t mean any harm in the least!
So where are you headed?” Fangs gleamed in his mouth
And Little Red Rhyming Hood answered him: “South”

The wolf planned to beat her to her destination
He licked his cruel lips in fierce anticipation
So he quickly ran off, shouting, “Farewell, sweet child!”
And Little Red Rhyming Hood? She simply smiled

She watched the wolf leave, then the turned and walked forth
‘Til she reached Granny’s house (she lived far to the north)
Granny said, “Thank you so much for the snack”
And Little Red Rhyming Hood left, saying, “Back”

But as Red headed home, she saw something uncanny
The wolf leaped in front of her, dressed as a granny
He cried out, “How dare you! You tried to trick me?”
And Little Red Rhyming Hood giggled, “Teehee”

“Now see here,” the wolf yelled, “That’s not how this goes!
You’re supposed to yell, ‘Granny, what hairs on your toes!’
‘What long ears you have!’ ‘What claws!’ and ‘What tail'”
Then Little Red Rhyming Hood shrugged and said, “Fail”

“Then when you see my teeth, that’s when you start to fear
And then I say, ‘The better to eat you my dear!’
Then I gobble you up! That’s how this all should go!”
But Little Red Rhyming Hood firmly said, “No”

Then the wolf threw a fit, pacing madly around
Cried, “I wasted a costume!” and tore off his gown
And the wolf stormed away and was not seen again
And Little Red Rhyming Hood smiled and said, “End”