This Poem Was Written in Haste

I’m writing this one quickly
I hope that it will rhyme
I hope that it will make some sense
(I’m running out of time)
I think it’s going well so far
I hope you also do
Okay, here goes, I’m at the end
(I think I nailed that too)

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Spelling Bee

A, B, C
Woe is me
This is a
Tragedy

Went to the
Spelling Bee
Forgot a
Silent “T”

Referee
Laughed at me
I ran off
Shamefully

Forced to flee
But they’ll see
Back next year
Vengefully

Mine will be
Victory
(Won’t misspell
“Potpourri”)

The Best Part

The best part of baking cakes is that
You get to lick the spoon
The best part of playing outside at night
Is howling at the moon

The best part of getting sick is startling
People when you cough
The best part of putting on fancy clothes
Is getting to take them off

The best part of going swimming is when
You make a great big SPLASH!
The best part of Halloween is finding
Mom’s secret candy stash

The best part of having a cat is trying
To make it chase a string
The best part of being a kid is…hmm…
I guess it’s everything

The Doctor Life

(As I imagined it at age 6):

I’m a doctor, he’s a doctor, she’s a doctor too
We get together and do all the things that doctors do
We stroke our chins and write with pens and try on silly band-aids
And while you’re in the waiting room, we hide all the good candies

Oh, I’m a doctor, she’s a doctor, they’re a doctor too
We’ll put our tools on ice so they get extra cold for you
We’ll fill up bottles with the grossest liquids we can think of
And then we bet each other just to see if you will drink ’em

Counting Sheep

I must be honest
Counting sheep
Will never help
Me fall asleep

It’s not the counting
That’s the cause
Nor is it their
Annoying “Baa’s”

It’s just — I know
A thing or two
About sheep, and
It’s frankly true

That sheep don’t walk
In single file
They herd into
A great big pile

And counting them
Is one big mess
So that’s what keeps me up:
The stress!

Boris, Exterminator

My name is Boris
I kill all your bugs
I crush all your flies
I stomp fleas in your rugs

Have bugs in your house?
It is I that you seek
For Boris is strong
And your bugs are all weak

Just bring me your bugs
I will come to your door
I will crush all your bugs
Then you will have no more

“But Boris,” you say
“When you came, my bugs ran!”
That’s because bugs are cowards
And I’m a strong man

But no harm. I will come
And no bugs will be spared
I will fight all your bugs
Tell them to get prepared

Your bugs think they’re great
But strong Boris is greater
For I am strong Boris,
The Exterminator