Demands

I’ve built a laser on the moon
So here are my demands:
Appoint me king, and let me rule
The world and all its lands
Although, I guess, if that’s too much
I’d settle for a half
Perhaps a third. But less than that?
Ha ha! Don’t make me laugh!
Or hey, if land’s too tricky, then
You could just give me gold
I’d ask a trillion dollars
But I guess that might be bold
So say one billion. Tell me if
That might work out or not?
You know what? Say a million
That still buys an awful lot
Or change that: you must take me out
To dinner every night
Expensive places! Classy!
Where you eat by candlelight
And where the waiters sing to you
Each time it’s your birthday
(But even if it isn’t, we’ll
Still say so anyway)
Or — organize a carnival
Where I win every prize
Or better — throw a great big party
But make it a surprise
Or you could just say cool things about me
And be really nice
You know what? I’ll be honest
Just a big hug would suffice.*

 

*A real hug, not just one of those “handshake-and-pat-on-the-back” type┬ádeals. I do still have a moon laser.

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