It’s almost dinner, and I really
Hope my Mom is making chili!
If she does, I’ll sing and shout
So loud she’ll tell me, “Cut it out!”
But by then, I’ll be in the street
“Chili!” I’ll cheer, and stomp my feet
All down the block, I’ll dance and skip
Although it’s dark, so I may trip
And crash into my neighbor Chip
Who’ll probably fall and break his hip
But before anything can be done
The police will show up, and I’ll run
I’ll try to hide with my friend Rich
Whose annoying brother Todd will snitch
So yet again I’ll have to flee
I’ll end up in some dark alley
I’ll eat rat soup and live in a box
I’ll wash in a drain and I’ll sleep on rocks
Then one day, I’ll get sick and die
Oh where did I go wrong? And, why?
Mom’s calling me — and she made chili!
…I’m scared my Mom is trying to kill me
Two dogs with two dog biscuits met in the park
Each dog dropped his biscuit and started to bark
They both barked so madly that neither dog saw
A squirrel walk away with two biscuits in paw
I’ve caught a bus, a plane, a cab
I’ve caught a trolley too
I caught a cold in April, then
In May, I caught the flu
One time my shirt caught fire
When I tried to fry an egg
And one time my cat scratched me
When I caught him by the leg
I caught my finger in the door
So bad I started crying
And when I went to find my mom
I caught my brother spying
I caught a thief red-handed
When he tried to steal my bike
I caught a peek at the Mayor, so
I know what she looks like
I’ve probably caught more things
Than anyone who’s ever been…
But drop just one fly ball, and now
I’m on the bench again
On the first day of summer
I did NOT go to school
Nobody tried to teach me, or
Complain about the rules
Slept in late
Wore a hat
Helped Mom fry up the eggs
Caught a centipede
And tried to count its legs
Learned some dance moves
Bought some shades
(To look cool in the sun)
Saw a snake
Then ran away
As fast as I could run
Met a family holding signs
Against a foreign war
Then saw my brother’s baseball game
And helped them keep the score
Read a book
Made up a game
(I won it every time!)
Tried to write a song
Although I couldn’t make it rhyme
I’m so glad school is over! I can scream and shout and sing!
Life’s way more interesting when you don’t have to learn a thing!
There’s too much to do, so I don’t want to do it
I know I should start, if I want to get through it
If I get distracted, then I’m going to rue it
But what is the harm in just checking my phone — no!
I won’t be distracted by texting or photos
But maybe there’s time for my favorite new show — oh!
Please help me somebody, I need concentration
I’m caught in distraction and procrastination
To fix this perhaps I’ll need imagination…
I’ve got it! I just need to move to Peru
Get a job at a circus or perhaps a zoo
I’ll sell my computer and my cell phone too
And I will not learn Spanish so no one can tell me
The things I should do, and so no one can sell me
New things to distract me, and if they try, they’ll see
I’ll never procrastinate, I’m going to show ’em
I won’t be distracted again! I will — oh…um…
…I meant to be working. But I wrote a poem.
I don’t know what my first will be
My second wish — let’s wait and see
But for my third: another three!
What’s that you say? You won’t let me?
Since when did you get so picky?
Well if that is your policy
I’ll wish I had a better genie
It’s almost summer vacation! I’m hoping to write a lot this summer, and I’m also going to be doing a bunch of planning for next school year, and that gave me an idea. I know that many of my readers are teachers, so I wanted to ask: is there anything I could write that would be useful to your classrooms?
So for the first time, I’m taking requests! Such as:
- Are there any rhyme schemes, poetic meters, or types of poems that you’d like examples of (for instance, doing a unit on limericks and want some samples? Teaching rhyme scheme and want something with a particular pattern? Etc.)
- Are there any poetic devices or techniques (metaphor, onomatopoeia, assonance, etc.) that you’d like me to incorporate?
- Any topics you’d really like a poem about?
- Feel free to include other requests (particular reading levels, vocab words to include, etc.)
I’d like to make this blog as useful to readers as possible. So if you’ve just finished a unit on sea slugs and also are introducing personification and you’re going to be doing Shakespeare soon and you just NEED to have a sonnet personifying sea slugs — I’m your guy. If you need eight cinquains about cacti that are differentiated by reading levels, let me know. If you want rhyming couplets to help your students remember the properties of triangles, just shoot me a message.
I’ll also take requests from non-teachers. Need a birthday poem? Want me to Cyrano de Bergerac the love of your life? Looking to soften the news that you won’t be coming home for Thanksgiving?
Some of these poems might end up on this blog, others may be sent to you directly (I’ll exercise my best judgment over whether normal people are really going to want to read a sonnet about sea slugs, weirdo).
Got a request? Email me at JGpoems@gmail.com, or message me on Twitter @jez3g.