My Family

You’ve probably heard of my family
Perhaps you have seen in the news
How my cousin got stuck in his mailbox
Or my grandmother ate all her shoes

My uncle collects all his nosehair
And says he is making a quilt
While my sister, she likes to stack pancakes
As of now, it’s nine stories she’s built.

My mother takes pictures of toothpaste
And prints them on pieces of toast
Which my aunt promptly staples together
Then lights them on fire to roast

My brother speaks sentences backwards
Confused very people makes which
My granddad’s pet eel is named Larry
And his flea is Count Scratches von Itch

My father insists there’s a litter
Of kittens which who live in his beard
So say: what’s it tell you about me
That I’m the one people call “weird?”

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